And I Touch the Face of Jesus
We picked up Annie, who is two and half, and Elliott, who is almost four , about 3:15 and brought them to the house. They were excited and full of life. I love being with my grandchildren and we have a great time together, but I could feel an undercurrent of sadness. Occasionally the sadness was tinged with anger as I grappled with a situation in which I felt misunderstood, unseen, and unappreciated. All of this was compounded by numerous deadlines and issues that were pressing in upon me.
After a full afternoon of playing in the house, yard, playground and walking around the block several times we finally got them to bed. As I tried to read Annie a story she talked all the way through it. She is a very active and verbal little girl. As I lay down with Annie on the inflatable mattress on the floor she slowly calmed down. As she did she looked into my face, took her finger and moved over and over my left cheek, goatee, left eye and forehead. This must have gone on for several minutes. It was a tender, intimate moment in which I felt great love and protective care for her. Mary was still singing to Elliott as Annie fell asleep so I just lay there next to her looking at her peaceful, restful face.
I began praying and crying out to God. I felt the pain I was in and I slowly, consciously released it to Jesus. I then sensed his intimate love and care for me, his child. I experienced peace, a sense of Shalom for the first time all day.
Later as I reflect on this experience, I take my finger to touch the face of Jesus, I touch the scars that are there for me, and I touch his eyes that see me. I feel his love and protective care for me. I am small and he is large. I laugh and rejoice in the intimate love and joy of Jesus.
Thank you Lord for revealing yourself to me through the eyes and fingers of my grandchild. I am a child resting next to you. May I always stay in this place.