Looking back over my life, I can’t think of one regret when I let things go and decided to stay present in a moment, savoring this season of my girls playing in the backyard, our neighbors sharing their stories, or sitting with my family as we reminisce on our own childhood moments. On the contrary, some of my biggest regret is related to my fear of presence… more-so the avoidance of pain.
I knew I wasn't watching this from the audience but I was in the performance myself. I was in the larger story, present to God, the earth, all free in it. But also, maybe in degrees more than yesterday, present to myself.
I felt significance in knowing that his heart was impacted by mine. This is what authentic community can do: create connection and, through it, spur one another on to love and good works.
I knew where the battle for my heart was going before I began. I saw the changes in my sister. I saw my friends’ head shakes of sentiments too deep to express. I knew the stories of men shedding armor or putting it on. I heard of the breaking of generational sin. So, I knew something about this experience was going to be extra deep and complex. But I was entering into the Battle for the Heart with a secret...
I found myself asking a lot of questions, but mostly my question was WHY? Why us? Why again? Why did she do it? Why did God let it? Why, why, why?
I had really kind of given up on ever using a gift I believed that I was given many years ago. Perhaps this story will help you see that God is not bound by tradition or denomination, but freely gives gifts and freely directs the use of those gifts for His church, the body of Christ.
They say there are two ways to get in a pool- slowly dipping your toes into the shallow end, testing the waters and allowing your body time to adjust to its potentially icy temperatures, OR diving in with reckless abandon.
...this time last year, I was eager to dive in, longing for greater depth in community with others and with Him.
While I was once eager to be all-in ... I began to wonder if maybe I should have stayed in the shallow end a little while longer.
Ever had to do something you didn’t want to do or felt like someone…ANYONE… could do better than you?
... I found myself thinking “Oh Lord, send Aaron.” Little did I know that God was going to use this experience to bring me to a place of surrender and teach me how to echo his heart to my domain.
So we went to Disney World.
I write a garden blog, and before I left, I had all manner of friends tell me “you’re going to LOVE the landscaping!” Opportunity knocked; I thought I would take a few pictures and have myself a nice little Disney World gardens post. This is not what happened.
“Why Lord?" “What did we do to deserve this?”
“I didn’t sign up for this!”