The Pain and Hope of Repentance

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"In the midst of my persistent, stubborn arrogance, your patient, compassionate love overwhelms me and brings me face to face with the sin in my life."

 


 

As we launch our blog and look forward to Father’s Day, I thought it appropriate to share from the heart of the Father of Wellspring Group – Larry Bolden. Larry is the father of one son and grandfather of five. The following prayer was written as part of the Battle for Your Marriage process that many of our alumni couples are going through right now. In my time with Wellspring Larry has re-parented me in so many ways, being an echo of my Abba Father’s heart and redeeming places long devastated. I was so moved by the humility of heart expressed here that I wanted to share it as an encouragement to all of you who long to love and be loved well through your beautiful brokenness.  

- Dana Smith, Wellspring's Women's Coordinator


 

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Opening to Love

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“God’s pursuing, persevering love.”  

 

During a restful week of celebrating and reflecting on our 43rd wedding anniversary in the beautiful north Georgia mountains we sought to come up with how we’d describe our marriage in just a few words.  My words were “God’s pursuing, persevering love.”   

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The Road to Surrender

The Road to Surrender - Wellspring Group

 

I will never forget my first Battle for the Heart retreat…

The one where I was a participant, wide-eyed and in denial that I needed anything the Battle could offer. I was aware I had control issues, but I liked them; they worked well for me. I viewed surrender as failure, waving a white flag, giving up control. I remember being unruffled by the Four Realities, particularly that I have a part to play that is mine and mine alone… if I don’t find a way, no one will. Well, if you will just tell me what my part is, I’ll do it...

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Where Were You God?

Where Were You God - Wellspring Group

 

Some days, it’s hard to breathe.  It might be from the pressure of it all, or it might be from the moments that just take my breath away.

I have so many thoughts swirling in my head, I don’t know if I can make sense of them.  There’s this ache in the waiting, the wondering, the longing for things to be settled.  There’s the uncertainty in the timing.  Then there’s the peace that we hold on to, knowing who is in control – then I can breathe again.

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Name the Graces

Name the Graces- Wellspring Group

 

To see the glory, name the graces.         

(from: Ann Voskamp - One Thousand Gifts devotional)

This line, this simple statement has replayed in my head for two weeks.  To see the glory, name the graces.  I remember a prayer when I was 18 years old, enamored by the story of Moses on the mountain calling out to God, "show me your glory".  This has been a consistent cry of my heart through the years, Lord, show me your glory.  I'm in awe of glory and I long to see it daily.

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The Waiting Room

The Waiting Room - Wellspring Group

 

My heart is weird. I’m in a good place but it isn’t fun or easy.  It feels like I vacillate between trusting God and wondering if he even sees me.  Today I’ve had to be honest with a feeling of disappointment that I haven’t seen God move in the way(s) I had hoped he would in the time that I wanted.  I find myself trying to justify why he hasn’t moved – but if I’m really, brutally honest, I’m just trying to keep from asking myself if I’m worth it to him.

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You are my Sunshine

You Are My Sunshine - Wellspring Group

 

As far back as I can remember, I’ve always said I didn’t want to have children when I grow up. As a young child, my reasoning was that I didn’t want a “tummy ache.” As a teenager, I didn’t want to get fat. As an adult, I couldn’t risk loving so much that I couldn’t control the potential pain I could experience. The bottom line… everything boiled down to me.

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Glimpsing the Finish Line Through an Old Friend and Mentor

Glimpsing the Finish Line Through an Old Friend and Mentor - Wellspring Group

 

Event: 

Mary and I recently made a quick trip to Dothan, our home of 59 years, so she could deliver a portrait to a client. While there we visited with John D. Reese and his wife Gemma. John D. is a longtime friend and pastoral mentor during my 30s and 40s. He and Gemma were great encouragers to us and Jonathan in those years. He is 85 and retired last year from being a full time pastor of the small nondenominational church he has been pastor of for 42 years. 

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Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours

Break my heart for what breaks yours - Wellspring Group

After nearly 10 years of marriage and 3 years of prayerful consideration my husband Daniel and I have stepped into unknown territory [for us] as foster parents. Six weeks ago we welcomed a precious 5 year old girl into our home. Everything I’ve worked carefully to control in my life has now been turned upside down.

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From Despair To Hope

From Despair to Hope - Wellspring Group

Since December we’ve had an unusual number of major challenges in the ministry that have had significant personal impact. As I’ve sought the Lord through all of this I began seeing how, when situations appear overwhelming, I tend to go to despair or domination. The amount of perceived control I have determines which way I go.

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